How to Train the Mind – Mental Skills Coaching That Transforms Youth Sports
- Give N' Grow
- May 16
- 3 min read
In youth sports today, the focus is often on the scoreboard—but what if the real game is happening inside the mind?
Mental skills coach Graham Betchart knows this well. With a background supporting NBA stars like Aaron Gordon and Jaylen Brown since they were 11 to 13 years old, and working with elite teams like the Utah Jazz, Sacramento Kings and UConn Huskies, Graham has seen firsthand how the mind separates good athletes from great ones. But his passion lies in helping young athletes develop the same mental skills the pros use—skills that build confidence, resilience, and long-term wellbeing.
A core concept in Graham’s approach is a simple acronym: W.I.N. – What’s Important Now? This question grounds athletes in the present moment. “W.I.N.” becomes a decision-making compass, especially during high-pressure moments in games or emotionally intense moments off the field.
Rather than getting caught in fear, frustration, or future-thinking, athletes learn to pause, breathe, and ask, What’s Important Now? Whether it's focusing on the next play, listening to a coach, or controlling the controllables, this question keeps them anchored and empowered. It’s a skill that builds mental agility, and it’s just as useful for a 10-year-old as it is for a pro.
On the Give N’ Grow Podcast, Graham shared powerful tools and insights to help parents and coaches support kids’ development on and off the court.
“You can’t be present if you’re not in your body.”
At the heart of Graham’s coaching is breathwork and mindfulness—two foundational tools that help athletes regulate stress and stay focused under pressure.
“You can’t have mindfulness without the breath. You can’t be present without being in your body. So you can’t really perform if you're not connected to those things.”
He teaches athletes—even at the youth level—to use their breath as a way to control their nervous system. Before a free throw, a serve, or a kickoff, a few intentional breaths can mean the difference between panic and poise.
“You regulate your nervous system through the breath, which allows you to regulate your thoughts and emotions, which then allows you to regulate your performance.”
This simple habit trains kids to access calm and clarity—not just during the game, but in daily life.
Helping Kids Build Identity Beyond Sports
Graham has worked at the highest levels of sports, but he’s most passionate about helping kids form healthy identities that don’t depend on winning or being “the best.”
“If your identity is wrapped up in being a good athlete, what happens when you're injured? What happens when you're not the best anymore?”
He encourages young athletes to focus on who they are—not just what they do. This identity work builds emotional resilience and protects against burnout, anxiety, and shame.
“It’s not about, ‘Did you win or lose?’ It’s, ‘Did you grow?’ That’s the whole goal.”
When kids feel safe to make mistakes and detach their self-worth from performance, they actually become more coachable—and more confident.
The Nervous System Is the Coach’s Leadership Tool
Whether you're a parent, a coach, or a teacher, Graham makes it clear: your energy sets the tone.
“Your nervous system is your leadership tool. If you’re dysregulated, it doesn’t matter what you’re saying—your athletes feel it.”
He challenges adults to embody the calm, regulated presence they want kids to mirror. One small but powerful shift is how you debrief after a game. Instead of rushing to critique or praise, ask reflective questions like:
“What did you learn?”“What was your favorite part of that game?”“How did you feel when you made that decision?”
These kinds of conversations promote self-awareness and growth—not just performance.
Pro-Level Skills for Everyday Life
Graham’s career has taken him into NBA locker rooms and Division I programs, but his core message stays the same whether he’s working with pros or 10-year-olds:
“We’re not just building athletes. We’re building humans.”
By teaching breathwork, emotional regulation, and identity awareness, we equip kids not just to play better—but to live better.
“Mental skills aren’t just for sports. They’re for life.”
Links & Resources
Connect with Graham on Instagram: @GrahamTheGuide
Learn more about Graham’s mental performance coaching: Palms Down Basketball
Explore Give N’ Grow's Youtube Channel for guided work-ins that teach these skills!