Replace Punishment with Positive Discipline - Parenting Tools That Build Trust, Not Power Struggles
- Give N' Grow
- May 2
- 2 min read
Updated: May 4
Parenting is often a balancing act between structure and softness. In this episode of the Give 'N Grow Podcast, Cobi Campbell, a school counselor and positive discipline parenting method advocate, brings clarity to that balancing act, offering a method rooted in connection, empathy, and mutual respect.
Rather than relying on punishment to correct behavior, Cobi emphasizes logical consequences that are agreed upon collaboratively with children—ideally during family meetings, not in the heat of the moment.
“Calm yourself first and then go in and connect: ‘Man, this must be really hard for you.’”
That opening sentiment reflects the heart of Cobi’s approach. Emotional regulation in parenting isn’t just about managing kids—it starts with parents managing themselves. When parents model self-regulation, they set the tone for how children learn to respond to mistakes, conflict, and stress.
Once connection is established, consequences become learning tools—not punishments. Instead of removing privileges arbitrarily, families are encouraged to build a framework of logical consequences ahead of time. If a child exceeds screen time limits, the consequence is related: less screen time the following day. If chores are neglected, perhaps an alarm and parent support are added until responsibility is rebuilt.
“If it’s not teaching them something about their future, maybe it shouldn’t be a consequence.”
This mindset shift requires patience and planning, which is why family meetings play a central role. Everyone gets a say—kids can even write items on the agenda—and families work together to navigate problems like getting out the door on time or managing activity overload. The parent retains the final say, but the process fosters autonomy and emotional intelligence.
Cobi also highlights a crucial distinction: punishment disempowers, while logical consequences promote accountability and collaboration. Involving kids in the process of defining consequences increases their understanding and buy-in. It builds trust, teaches fairness, and aligns behavior correction with life skills.
“It’s the involvement that changes it.”
Toward the end of the conversation, Cobi shares core habits for raising mentally healthy kids:
Sleep: A consistent wind-down routine supports regulation and stress resilience.
Free play & creativity: Over-scheduled kids miss out on social and emotional learning that happens organically.
Resilience-building: Life doesn’t always go to plan—helping kids reframe setbacks and bounce back is essential for long-term wellbeing.
In a world that often prioritizes efficiency over empathy, this conversation is a reminder that the slow, intentional route—rooted in connection—is the most powerful path toward emotional growth and resilience.
“What we want them to learn, know, and be able to do in their future should guide our parenting today.”
Connect With Cobi
Instagram - @GrowthMindedPod