Breath, Body, Emotion, Mind: A Practical Path for Parents and Teachers to Model Resilience

When Mike Delaney talks about social emotional learning, it’s never just theory. It’s lived experience — decades of working in education, parenting, supporting individuals with intellectual disabilities, and now helping adults and children build meaningful practices for self-awareness and connection.

In this episode of the Give N' Grow Podcast, Mike sits down with Give N’ Grow founder Ben Cecchini to reflect on what it really takes to raise mentally healthy, emotionally resilient kids — and how much of that starts with our own internal work as adults.

Watch the full episode or choose the section that you're most curious about by using the video progress bar below the video.

SEL Begins with Relationships, Not Just Information

Mike shares a compelling example from his capstone project, working with adults with intellectual disabilities in Carrollton, Kentucky. “They don’t communicate verbally for the most part — and they don’t communicate with pictures either,” he explains. “They communicate relationally.”

This idea cuts to the core of social emotional learning. It's not just about downloading information or presenting the right visuals. As Mike puts it, “They will follow that person’s lead... there's safety in numbers when you trust who’s around you.” In other words, modeling matters more than explaining.

This resonates deeply in a world saturated with information but often lacking connection. From a developmental standpoint, children learn by watching — and especially from those they’re emotionally bonded to. Neuroscience backs this up: mirror neurons in the brain allow children to mimic the emotional states and behaviors of caregivers, not just their words.

A Daily Practice of Grounding: Mike’s 4-Part Check-In

One of the most valuable tools Mike shares is his self-check practice — a simple but profound daily habit that helps him stay grounded and self-aware. It includes:

• Breath – How am I breathing?

• Body – How does my body feel?

• Emotions – What am I feeling, and is it okay to feel this way?

• Mind – What thoughts are passing through?

This framework helps Mike notice when he’s dysregulated and gives him the space to choose how to respond. It also allows him to model healthy emotional habits for his children and grandchildren. “They may not do everything I say, but they watch everything I do,” he says.

The practice connects to his training with Breathe for Change, which blends yoga, mindfulness, and SEL for educators. The emphasis on breath as a gateway to emotional insight mirrors current research in polyvagal theory, which shows how our breath links directly to the nervous system — and can help regulate our response to stress.

Vulnerability, Self-Talk, and the Power of Showing Up

Mike doesn't shy away from talking about vulnerability — especially for men. “I just read over the weekend that men don’t like the word ‘vulnerability,’ but it builds trust with your children,” he says. As Ben shares from his own experience speaking in schools, when adults are vulnerable, it creates relatability — and that turns into connection.

Mike also talks openly about learning to manage anger. Not by suppressing it, but by becoming more aware of it and learning when to act. “Sometimes people would steamroll me. And I should’ve stood up — but I wasn’t aware enough,” he reflects. His practice of pausing, sleeping on decisions, and cycling through emotions before reacting is part of a bigger shift toward emotional maturity.

And at the heart of it all is how we talk to ourselves. “Affirmations — like 'I am worthy' or 'I am deserving' — really do go a long way,” Mike says. He points out the difference between self-care and self-indulgence. Sometimes, the best self-care isn’t a luxury, but a boundary: choosing sleep over pushing through. “I suffered too much in my adult years sleep-deprived. I’m very intentional now about getting seven hours.”

Teaching is the Best Way to Learn

Perhaps the most powerful message in the episode comes as Mike reflects on his role as a parent and grandparent. “The best way to practice these things and to learn them is to teach them,” he says. “But I don’t mean ‘do as I say, not as I do.’ Children are learning from what they see you do.”

Mike’s reminder is a call to action — not for perfection, but for presence. To breathe. To check in. To regulate before reacting. And to remember that every small act of awareness we model becomes part of the emotional blueprint we hand down to our kids.

“We don’t need to be perfect,” Mike says. “We just keep showing up for the practice.”